Friday, February 19, 2010

lets get serious

I have decided to take my blog in a different direction. From here on out I will be blogging about my struggles with my weight on a day to day basis. I am always thinking about my weight and how I wish this and I wish that and yet if nothing changes,nothing changes.

So damnit, I say lets get serious.

Its real simple. I want to be able to put on a bathing suit (or even a tank top for that matter) and be comfortable with myself. I want to be able try on jeans and not be close to tears because once again, they don't fit. I want to be able to wear a pair of shorts in the summer (and I mean a real pair of jean shorts) And that doesn't mean that I have to be a size 5. That just means that I have to be comfortable with my body.

I figure that if I blog about my struggles every day then I will be more likely to hold myself accountable for my eating behavior. Day after day I wake up and say "Hey! today is the day, I am going to eat healthy, I am going to work out!" and by the time the afternoon rolls around I figure I can just start again tomorrow.

So its time to put it all out there.

I know that I am beautiful inside and out but I am unhappy with my weight.
I am unhappy with my body.
I love to eat. I eat when I am bored, I am when I am sad, I eat to celebrate!
I strive for perfection and when I fail-there is no going back. And I justify it all.

I know that I have to change the way I look at all of this. I know that just because I eat a couple cookies or a piece of cake that does not mean that I should chow down on some pizza. I have a tendency to think that if I can not workout hardcore for 45 minutes then what's the point? I know that any exercise is good exercise.

So here and now, its time for a different outlook. I will do my best every day to eat healthier. I will do my best to get exercise-any exercise. And that will be my "perfection". And I will hold myself accountable for my eating and will not justify all the bad stuff that I am eating.
I will do my best and I will struggle, but I will succeed.

Because a year from now, I will wish I had started today.
So I am.

2 comments:

Jeanette said...

You ARE beautiful inside and out and I am proud of you! You have always been able to accomplish what you put your mind to and you will this time too! I love you baby!

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